A Room With a View

Not too long ago someone laughed when I was telling stories about Blonde Voyage and Halloween–that every event I go to has to have a theme.  That’s almost true.  It has to have a theme or a drink special.

Last night was kind of a combination of both.

Blake invited people to what he called the Santa Crawl.  Wear a Santa hat and hitch a ride in a chauffeured bus and do a bar crawl from bar to bar all evening.  Oh, what fun it is to ride….

Many of my close friends were invited, but could not join the festivities because we work late on Friday.  And then there were some like me who needed to get to bed at a decent hour because of work/plans Saturday.  So we decided to meet up with the Santas at a place called Bar1.  I had never been there before; good excuse to check it out.

Adam went with me.  Dutch Dorothy (Raymond, see also Blonde Voyage party) was just getting there when we pulled up. John and Donny were there. Shane, Walter, and Michael rounded out the crew.

The Santas were smashed.  Third bar…9:00PM. 

Made the rounds to say hi…and who should be part of the group?  Il Bastardo himself (Jose).  His Santa hat had a flashing light on the end instead of a fuzzy ball.  How festive.  I had wondered if he would be there.  Jose and Blake knew each other from MN but became friends when I dated Jose and also invited Blake to two-step. 

We haven’t spoken or acknowledged each other’s exisitence in months.  I haven’t even been going to Charlie’s as much, so I never see him.  So it was very weird and awkward when Jose approaches and is all, “So good to see you! Haven’t seen you in a long time!”  As if we were close buddies that had been too busy to keep in touch lately.  Instead, I’m the guy who tells people they can pee on his car.  Jose looks at Adam, “And this is your other half!”

I should have said, “My BETTER half.”

He was absolutely giddy–and I was weirded out like you wouldn’t believe.  After an awkward side hug I put some distance between us. 

I made some comment to Adam that Jose was acting really weird–I’ve never seen anything like that.  Adam goes, “Ooooh, THAT’S Jose.” 

The Santa’s move on.  The rest of stayed and had a jolly good time. 

I can barely believe it’s been a year.
The 14th was the anniversary of my walk home from Charlie’s when Jose ditched me.
The 17th was the anniversary of his phone message saying we should see other people.
Although my quest to find someone to pee on his car continues (I did find someone, but he lives across town), day by day I’m a little less bitter and a little less angry.
Good news:  whenever I get kind of weepy/emotional about the whole thing, I get a text from someone who says that I’m smart, goodlooking, funny, and just overall better than him.  That I have good things in store for me.
Amen to that.

Other news: 
1)  mixed signals from McStudly at the gym and at Charlie’s last weekend.  That always happens when a) I least expect it and b) actually meet someone else.
2) was approached by a guy named Charley to dance last Saturday.  Although he claimed he was not a very good lead, he did a great job and we danced all night.  More to come this Saturday.  And, should there be actual dating, I’m already anticipating the confusion when I tell someone, “I’m going to Charley’/Charlie’s tonight” and they won’t know which one I’m talking about. Ha!
3) back in training for processing.  I won’t go on my four day a week schedule until September.  September!
4) been without internet access for two weeks.  Getting high speed tomorrow morning. Whoo-hoo!  I’m a little Facebook deprived. 

So, I don’t exactly know who Carl is.
However, he did something I totally wish I had witnessed.
I must have already left Charlie’s on Saturday.  I was there for only about an hour as the final stop of a date.  The place was strangely empty (possibly because of Pride down in Rocky Point).  It wasn’t very fun while I was there, so left around 11:30. 
Sunday morning, my friend Eric told me about Carl and the amazing thing he did.

At Charlie’s we do three dances that are partner dances, but they’re done in a circle (Bresa del Rio alum think Barn Dance).  There’s always a scramble to find someone to be your partner and people even lock in commitments early in the night.  So when it’s not a crowded night, your usual partner may not be there.  Well, the song for the dance “Renegade” came on I guess Jose turned and stuck out his hand to this Carl guy to partner.  Carl was reaching for Jose’s hand, then saw Eric approaching, and accepted Eric’s invite instead.  Totally burned Jose.
Wish I had seen it.
Next week I’m buying this guy a drink.

Cheers

My third year attending Phoenix Pride. 
I took the day off Saturday in preparation for the parade and a day in the park.  But as the day approached, I realized that this year would be different.  Raymond’s gone.  Marcos has nested and doesn’t go out as much.  Ain’t going with Jose this year.  David was working at his booth in the park.  Martin had a wedding to go to.  Others were maybe going on Sunday.  Hmmm.  I guess I’m going by myself?
Then got a text from Billy who I know from the softball team I cheer for.  He lives near the parade route. 
9:30 am pre-party with mimosas. 
11:00 walked along the parade route. Great time to people watch.  Also saw a former student.  Never suspected she was; but not surprised either. 
After noon into the park; beer, volleyball, chatting with friends, shopping in booths.  One guy Michael said he saw Jose earlier and was cordial.  I wanted to say that next time he has my permission to push him down and kick him. 
Walked around a lot with Billy and we talked about life and ex’s.
Long walk back to my car.  Home for a nap.
Then to Charlie’s.  Packed.  But not many of the regulars, so dancing was so-so.
McStudly was shocked because I ordered a beer.  Then he shocked me by saying he tried to get my attention out at the park. He leaves me so confused.
Watched as Jose (Il Bastardo) chatted up some 20-something kid.  I thought a) what do I have in common with this little snot that he would be attracted to both of us  b) why is it that Jose talks endlessly to everyone else under the sun but always seemed lost for words when talking to me  and (when Jose and junior were headed out the door together) Lord, please smite him with ED.  Thanks. 
So then I left and crawled in bed. Thinking why me?  Took it easy Sunday morning; sleeping in and gym. 
Then poolside brunch at Michael’s.  Bellini’s and vodka 7’s.  Yum.  Then back to Charlie’s.
Packed.  Fun Sunday.  Il Bastardo was there (strange for a Sunday, and sans twink) with Ronaldo and Blake (who I used to count as my friends).  Hung out with John (Ronaldo’s ex) and Donny, Marcos and Chad, Kramer, Billy and Adam from softball. 
Then to dinner with Billy to cap off the night.
Fun weekend overall.  A little sketchy there in the middle with the Jose stuff.  But overall a fun Pride weekend. 

Okay…these have been a long time coming.  Pics of ME at the Blonde Voyage party. Enjoy.  Stop Laughing.

1) With Raymond
2) With Marcello
3) With Kelly
4) With Jorge, Amy, Mary, and Kirt (and Legally Blonde on the TV)
5) With Paul (and in the background you can see Jose. And even though he’s probably not, it looks like he’s picking his nose which really makes me laugh).

Last year when I needed money to either a) replace the engine in my old Pontiac for $6000 or b) buy a new car, I received the incredible gift of $6000 from Jose to do with as I pleased (and we weren’t even dating).  The terms were:  no repayment needed.  He had the money and enjoys helping out friends in need.

I often have an uneasy feeling when someone offers to buy me anything.  I do appreciate people’s generosity, but I end up living with quite a lot of guilt.  Several years ago I was in dire financial straits and would have lost everything if my parents hadn’t stepped in (after illegally pulling my credit report) and loaned me a subtantial amount of money (with terms of repayment).  I also have a distinct memory as a child throwing a temper tantum in the store for a toy that I didn’t need and only sort of wanted.  Mom caved and bought it.  I used it, enjoyed it, but learned years later about how much my parents struggled during that time to run a business and make ends meet.  Still feel guilty to this day.

So I took Jose’s gift.  Used it as down payment on my Jetta.  I’ve felt guilty ever since but took Jose at his word that no repayment was needed.  I even got used to him paying for dinner and movies.  He knew about my hang up and pretty much told me to get over it. Then the relationship ended.  And I found myself in a situation that Judge Judy describes as not having a legal obligation, but a moral obligation to repay a debt.  So every couple paychecks I send a bill pay check to Jose for about $30.  Not much.  I’ve made no dent in the debt.  But it satisfies my belief in paying him back.

But he continues to piss me off.  And I don’t want to pay him.  So this morning, as I opened my eyes in the wee hours of the morning to get ready for work.  I decided that I would instead pay back the loan by making donations to a charitable organization.  Haven’t decided which one yet.  I am open to suggestions to a worthy national cause.  If you’re in Arizona, please feel free to suggest any local charities or organizations that I should consider.

I am so excited for this.  I would much rather have $6000 go to feed the hungry and clothe the poor than fill the coffers of an ass.  Pardon my French.

Please send suggestions.  Thanks!

Since I finally learned how to put pics in my blog, I thought I would add this one.  I didn’t get it until then night Jose broke up with me (the first time).

You may recognize a portion of this picture as my profile picture.  Last summer my friend David (who owns a swimwear import business www.boyrio.com) had a pool party where this picture was snapped.  Who know it would all fall apart so soon afterwards…

In the middle of planning a going awa part from my friend Raymond.  He’s moving to Holland.  Since Jose knows Raymond, I’m putting him on the invite list.  The other planner was going to send out the e-vite; I had to collect email addresses.  Called Jose last night and left a message (who knew you could date someone and NOT have their email? Hmmm).  He sent a text back today to thank for the invite and provide email.  I will update as to any drama that unfolds there.  LOL